Ground

David Erlewine

Fall 2009

My wife’s uncle apparently used to make her sit on his face until he passed out. I found this out shortly after his funeral, right after we got married. She and I were driving on the Jersey Turnpike, and she told me all about the fun they used to have. I was tired, and we were stuck in traffic, so I guess I wasn’t thinking all that clearly when I said it could have been worse. As I often do, I mistook her innocent look as an excuse to explain further. I said the guy could have made her blow him, raped her, maybe even sodomized her.

Later that night, as I was flossing, she snuck up and stuck her head in my boxers, licking my unshowered asshole. I jumped, of course, and tried to shake her off. Her nails digging into my thighs, she kept licking and hissing all sorts of filthy things about how dirty I was and how awful I smelled. She got up and pushed me into the shower, screaming, “Clean yourself now!” As I did, she watched, before dragging me to the tiled floor, my hairy, clean ass atop her face.

The next morning, she acted as if nothing had happened. At breakfast, I was surprised to see she hadn’t set out a cup for my coffee. Later that day, I bought her roses with a note saying, “I’m sorry for being such a, well, asshole.” That did the trick and she forgave me for awhile.

All these years later, the kids in college, sometimes she’ll come home from work after a shitty day. On such nights, often I find myself sniffing her ass. Sometimes she’ll slap me away, but other times she’ll grind me into the floor, speaking in a voice I hardly recognize, until I can’t hear anything and go to sleep.